I am 28 years old now. When I was 24, I was prompted to get back on a scale by a picture that was taken of me on a trip home to Michigan. When I got on the scale, I was horrified by the number. Perhaps at some point, I will feel comfortable stating my top weight, but for now, suffice it to say it was a number I would never want anyone to hit except perhaps professional football players. I decided I had to do something.
Over the next 2.5 years, I lost 40 lbs. I started by increasing my walking, then by joining a gym and going a couple times a week, then meeting with a personal trainer once a week. This was a slow, achingly slow process. I always felt I ate pretty healthy as a whole, and I love fruits and vegetables, but in retrospect, I would be lying if I said my food habits were healthy. I had (have, as I'm not sure that ever fully goes away) a big program with binge eating.
When my dad passed away, I think I used my sadness as an excuse to take away the focus from my own health, and 20 lbs crept back on. When we moved, I stopped my gym membership because the location was no longer convenient, and it took me 5 months before I finally got inertia back on my side. In September, I joined a gym that required a 3 time a week meeting with small group trainers AND weekly weigh-ins. It finally stopped my weight gain, but to say it kick started my weight loss would be an overstatement. Perhaps I lost 5 lbs in the 3 months I was there. I hadn't dealt with food, and so my work outs countered the food, but didn't help me lose.
As December approached, I looked up other (more affordable gyms), and began to look into the other piece of my own personal weight puzzle- polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Long story short, part of the reason for my binges were the effects PCOS had on my body's response to sugars. I always said I ate healthy meals, it was the in between times that caused me problems, and now I understand that was totally true! In looking up healthy eating for PCOS, I found some healthy solutions for eating. I now eat 3 vegetable, protein, and whole grain focused meals a day, as well as 3 snacks focusing on protein and produce. I eat ALL THE TIME, and I don't binge because I'm never hungry.
Now, even on my own at the gym, I've lost the 20 lbs I gained back, and an additional 10 lbs. I won't say it's been effortless, because planning 6 "meals" a day as well as hitting the gym for 3 strength and at least 3 cardio sessions a week is never easy, it has been easier this time than anything else I've ever done (Atkins, anyone?). This is a lifestyle that I've maintained for several months, one that involves delicious meals out occasionally, chocolate cake occasionally, pizza occasionally, and enough food that I never deprived.
Each journey has a misstep for each forward movement, and mine is no exception. I am nowhere near a healthy body fat percentage, but I have made remarkable progress. I have no exact size or timeline to reach my ultimate "goal weight," but that is why this is a journey to Size Healthy (not size 6, because let's be honest, that's not going to happen). This is not about a number, but a feeling and an ability. I feel like I'm eating and living to be the healthy, fit person I want to be, and it is making a world of difference.
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